Part 4
Rewind here:
Love marriage Vs Arranged marriage… the traditional definitions (Love marriage – you elope & Arranged marriage – forced by parents) no longer holds good. Love is what is going to define your relationship but it is the society and your parents who are going to
support you on the outside. An arranged love marriage is the way to go. It is very important that the boy and girl understand each other before they head for the altar. And it is equally important to have one’s family at one’s side to support you through your marriage.
Cast, creed, religion, language …. All these things do not make sense as a human being. But these small things can turn into big things later on. The traditional approach of marrying inside the cast/religion was based on the fact that – it is easier for the couple to adjust to each other. Later on in life they don’t have to think what language to teach the kid… how to name the kids… weather to go to the temple or church … all sorts of thing (Mani Ratnam’s Movie Bombay).
It is best to have someone who already knows all these things as your partner … but in case it is otherwise there will be a lot more to sacrifice for both the boy and girl. If both of them are ready to commit to each other this should not be a barrier. I myself know of 2 such couples who have crossed language barriers – cultural barriers – religious barriers and are having a good married life.
In Laws seem to be another point of friction for most couples … especially the mother in law – daughter in law scenario. This is another thing that should be discussed between the boy and girl. What level of involvement of the in-laws are you comfortable with? It is actually very difficult for parents to let go of their children and the authority that comes with it. They still think you don’t know how to tie your shoe lace and want to do everything for you.
It is only natural for parents to be worried about you – there is not much you can do about it other than re-assure them that you are perfectly fine without their help – and you will always come to them first for any help. They just need to keep knowing that they will keep having the same amount of importance they had in your life as they had … when you as a small boy/girl ran up to them Laughing or crying … with a question or with a suggestion …
More on the way – till then help yourself to some comments:
