Part 1

Marriage is something that is generally supposed to scare the boys away and something that makes the girl blush. Well at least that is what I thought so.

Why am I writing this post about marriage…? Good question. Well it all started with two of my friends – they got engaged and are getting married very soon. And apparently Marriage is a ditch you want to pull your friends along into…Jokes apart; this time I was in India (I had a great time) my mom popped the question – when are you planning to get married? A little investigation and I found out that my mom was hunting for girls for me… ahem. Well that is when I thought about marriage … and writing something about it.

For once I realized that I did not have enough ideas and experience on this subject. So I decided to turn to some of my really good friends for information and opinion and I was in for a few surprises and a few answers set me thinking. Well for one thing I am not going to name any one or really go into any one’s opinion.

Talking about marriage in the Indian context is quite complex. It has now become to be more of a social and business event in most cases rather than something personal. Going through the matrimonial ad’s will give you an idea of the amount of commercialization. Man being a social animal has actually managed to become an animal living for the society rather than himself! The physiology behind “what would they think/say” has crossed the understandable levels. Well I am not here to talk about the society… Click here to read a more descriptive take on the society and marriage in the Kerala context; but am sure will have a similar application across the country.

Well I am here to talk about the girl and the boy… well that is quite tough – that is why I sought the insight of some of my friends. I would like to thank them for coming forward and sharing with me their innermost thoughts. The girl and the boy… where does it all start? For girls generally it starts very early in their life. The fact that they will have to go and live in another house is advertised at every given opportunity. Mothers are the ones who start early – trying to teach their girl child all the house hold work … getting her prepared for the new life. One more thing that girls are thought early in their life is to “adjust”. To “adjust” – this is used as a boundary less term in the girl’s context. And the amount of sacrifice that the girls make in the name of “adjust” is just unbelievable. With girls becoming more empowered things are changing … but are they in the right direction?

Meanwhile the boys are literally enjoying their life … the teenage is full of energy … playing games … chasing imagination … and college life is even more fun. Meanwhile the girls are boiling with jealousy and anger … how come they do not get to enjoy and these boys are enjoying. Well to elaborate further … in the Indian context the boy was supposed to be the breadwinner and the girl was supposed to be the person in charge of the house.

Till may be 20 years ago this clear division of responsibility made sense. But with the empowerment of girls … in terms of education and employment opportunity … things took a big change … now the girl could also be the breadwinner for the family. This change in balance has changed a lot of other things. This feeling of taking up the double responsibility of being the breadwinner and the person in charge of the family really puts the girls in the spot and is now the root cause of a lot of Indian family problems.

That is end of Part 1. Hold your breath for part 2. Till then please feel free to comment below.

Click here for Part 2

Click here for Part 3