I found this very interesting post that captures the essence of arranged marriages and I thought Ill share it with you. The Author is Priyanka. Read her blog here.
I never dated my husband. Like 90 per cent of the Indian youngsters, I (and my husband) gave in to the easy way of parents setting up a mutual meeting followed by a convenient marriage. Getting married was an easy task. It was all made to look natural (felt natural too) and everybody play-acted their parts to the hilt. I played the coy bride and my hubby played the cool groom.
Today, after 14 months of marriage I am beginning to realise that my husband is a tough nut to crack. During the courtship period, if you may allow me to call the 7 month period we had after agreeing to an arranged marriage, I had him tagged as a mild-natured i-banker who probably had his career blueprint in his mind. Well, so I believed.
It took me 10 months to come face to face to the fact that the in-house i-banker was not only mild-natured but also did not believe in talking. He wasn’t really minting money and had no clue of where his career would take him economy like like.
It took me 11 months to realise that my husband was not the average storybook hero who could handle everything on his own. He was not even distantly romantic and gave explanations that were beyond my logic.
This is how he comforts me when I am feeling low about my physical self. “In economic terms, we both are depreciating assets,” the i-banker in him reasons, adding more fuel to my woes, “Let me explain, you’re 26 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5-7 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest so you can stay happy for another 7 years!”
After good 14 months, I have concluded that my husband is a very cut and dried human being and has his own set of quirks. But my marriage has also unlocked a few new secret for me. I now know for sure that your man doesn’t have to be your best friend.
(That’s why you’ve had a best girlfriend all along, right?)
Next, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t dance.(Common interests are less important than shared values.)
In arranged marriages, you will open your eyes to what makes a guy perfect for you…and then the marriage will help you find him, date him, and keep falling in love with him forever.
It is so obvious that people who are getting married will have lot of expectation about their partner. Why the expectations? Because she/he dont know what her/his parter is. So, a good solution is to have a would be.
And marriage is a social system. By which the religions secures their power for the coming generations. They(The system) will find you a partner, whom you have to love from the first day. And, I dont think you can love a person from the first day.
Comment by Tony Jose — March 7, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
I see this changing a little bit. In our parent’s generation, they just meet once or twice before marriage.
Now a days in at least some of the cases people are allowed to get to know over a few months.
Comment by Domestic Avalanche — March 7, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
@Domestic Avalanche. Yes it is changing. Nice observation.
Comment by Tony Jose — March 7, 2009 @ 5:32 pm
hey thanks for the link!
a jolly good one; let the lady learn some hard facts of life… hahahaaaa
Comment by scorpiogenius — March 7, 2009 @ 6:55 pm
Its changed a lot in fact….My cousins, before getting married usually meet each other regularly….I believe this kinda regular interaction gives u much more deeper insight into the other person…Most of them end up knowing the other really well before tying the knot….I feel dating is very important even though the arranged part holds good….
Comment by Ash — March 8, 2009 @ 1:48 pm