Part II : You would not believe this…

For those of you how have not read the first part click here.

Continuing the conversation with my client: Finally he happens to come to a country called Botswana (just above South Africa) with a delegation of investors who were invited to Botswana. When he was in Botswana, they had a meeting with a panel of ministers. As the meeting started, the host (a guy from BDIA - Botswana Development and Investment Authority) started on a light note. This is how it goes:

The ministers in Botswana were perplexed as to how their Indian counterparts were able to go to the hospitals even for the silliest reasons, that also abroad. They would run to France to put a Band-Aid, US to have their Broken Bones fixes, UK to have their hair transplanted. They finally decided that they would invite a minister from India to Botswana in the name of Investment tour and try and get the mystery solved.

So they invite one of the cabinet ministers across to Botswana. The Indian Minister comes to Botswana and his counterparts in Botswana put forward the question to him when he is visiting different places in Botswana. First they take him to the Parliament House. The Indian Minister asks them how much they got out of this deal. His counterpart says 5%. Then they go to the Ministry of health. The Indian Minister asks the same question. His Botswana counterpart responds by saying 2%. As they visited different buildings, the Indian Minister kept asking the same question, and his Botswana counterpart told him different percentages but never once crossing the 5% mark.

Finally the Indian Minister told them that they should come to India so that he can show them how everything is done. The Botswana ministers get together and manage to put on the table enough money to send one person to India. They decided that one of them would go to India and learn the trick and come back and teach the rest.

So the selected Botswana Minister travels over to India. He is given a “warm reception” at the airport with flowers and beautiful girls. The Botswana Minister is very excited. At last he is going to learn “a big secret”. And he and his friends are going to make some real money.

The Indian Minister is on a tour of his constituency (which rarely happens), and agrees to take the Botswana Minister with him. As they are traveling, they cross a river on an old bridge. The Indian Minister stops the car in the middle of the bridge and shows his Botswana counterpart another bridge - that seems to be new - but only 75% construction is finished. The Indian minister points to the bridge and tells his Botswana Counterpart “We got 25% from that deal”. The Botswana Minister is confused. He says ” But only 75% is complete” , to which the Indian Minister replies “yes the other 25% ,they paid us”.

The Botswana Ministry is surprised and wondering. But he does not say anything and continues with his Indian counterpart. The Indian Minister completed his tour and was coming back to the capital. This time they take a longer route. They again cross a bridge on another point of the same river. The Indian Minister stops the car in the middle of the bridge and points to a new bridge that is only 50% complete. Before the Indian Minister can say anything the Botswana Minister puts in “Let me guess, you guys got 50% of the deal! My god no wonder…”. The Indian minister cuts him “No! No! No! When we started this project, the opposition created problems. So we took 25% and the other 25% we gave it to the opposition.”

The Botswana minister is, like, completely out of sync…He could not even imagine that the opposition could be handled like that. He was now filled with admiration for his Indian friend. Thinking that he had learned everything, wants to leave for Botswana. When he asks his Indian counterpart permission, the Indian Minister says that he needs to see one more thing and then he can go on his way.

The Indian Minister takes him to a place outside the city, there is hardly a road, mostly bushes around. They get out of the car. The Indian minister points out in a general direction and says “that is the Indian Department which is equivalent to BDIA (Botswana Development and Investment Authority)”
The Botswana Minister is totally confused. He looks around - but sees no building. He puts on his reading glasses - thinking that he must be missing something. Still nothing. He turns to the Indian Minister and tells him “But there is nothing there - only bushes” to which the Indian minister replies” yeah, I know there is nothing there. It is all operational in the files, and by the way, we got paid 100% of the deal”

Apparently when one party was in control in Rajisthan – the government ordered the digging of many wells for water. Five years later when the opposition gained control of the government and they ordered the closing of all these wells as there was no water in any of them. Guess were the cache is? First the wells were dug in “files” and then they were also closed in “files”. Not a single person actually saw any well.

Also did you know that not a single tablet was returned to central medical supplies from any of the government dispensaries where they gave out medicine free; from1950. Not a single tablet. Every tablet/medicine has been officially issued. The rest does not take a lot of brains to guess…????!!!!

Am I happy to be outside India? Maybe yes…

Part III coming soon. Till then let me know what you think…

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